did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm always down for nudity.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
