PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
