it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
