I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
