sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
