I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
