i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
