Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
