marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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