everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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