she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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