3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize