the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
