this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
