I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
