My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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