The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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