I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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