Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
