yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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