Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize