I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
