is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize