Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
