I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the day after is always just damage control
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
