you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
