Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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