just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Boobs are out for the taking
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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