I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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