dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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