i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
