exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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