I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
