I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
