Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
