so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
