So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
