Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
