you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
