Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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