My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
