my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize