I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You made out with two different species that night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
