There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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