Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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