sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
