i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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