SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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