Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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