if i can run in heels then i can drive
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
