More tranny stories later!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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