I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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