It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
