yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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