grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
