Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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