My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
