so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
