We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So much Jack, so little girl.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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