): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
