he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I havenโt taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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