We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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