Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
