Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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