My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
