They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
