Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
